


Louder

by Kavbj



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LaviYuu, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 03:26:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2452979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kavbj/pseuds/Kavbj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then he'll slip the headphones over Yuu's ears, plug the jack into his phone, crank the volume to full ball, and let Yuu block out the world for the time being. There are still the occasional tears, though Yuu fights against them tooth and nail, but most times Yuu just casts his gaze down and brushes his fingers over the headphones and settles. LaviYuu. AU. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Louder

**_Louder_ **

_by Neon Jungle_

_Make everything louder_

_Do it till my skin vibrates._

_Make everything louder_

_I want to hear my eardrums break._

_More volts in the system,_

_Drown out the symptoms,_

_Everything louder, louder._

_I don’t want to listen,_

_Just wanna feel it, feel it,_

_Louder, louder._

Lavi is packing up when Yuu arrives. He greets the other boy cheerily, tightens his hold on the record casing in his hands so that when he tilts it to read the title the record doesn’t slip out. Yuu comes up beside him, glances at the cover, then places a firm hand on Lavi’s upper arm and begins to push.

Lavi blinks and glances at Yuu. He quickly puts the record on a table then takes Yuu by the wrist and drags him to the recording room. “Everyone’s gone home,” he says as he opens the door and ushers Yuu inside. The Japanese teen nods once and steps to the middle of the room. Lavi lingers in the doorway, wondering if he should ask. He doesn’t. Just reminds Yuu that he personally thinks it’s a better experience with the headphones before he closes the door and moves to the sound desk.

Yuu stares back at him through the glass, quiet, still. He’s put the headphones on. He’s tense and edgy but patient. He knows now, knows that Lavi will provide the solution, the antidote, the cure.

Lavi licks his lips, meets Yuu’s gaze and tries not to choke. He clears his throat and takes a seat. He stands again, shakes out his fingers. 

“Lavi.” 

_Wrong, wrong, wrong, the voice is wrong. What did it to you this time?_

Lavi nods quickly. “I know, Yuu. Sorry.” 

He starts, slowly sliding up the toggles and flicking switches. Yuu closes his eyes and tilts his head, dark hair slipping over his shoulder. Lavi watches carefully, increasing the bass, handling the acoustics as he should, pumping the volume. Yuu’s chest rises and falls calmly. More. More bass, more noise, more volume.

He has to come apart.

 _Make him come apart_.

Lavi knows this, had been the one to first do it - had been so many firsts, actually - but this was all him, all his idea. And Yuu’s been dependent on it for four years now. He’d been thrilled when Lavi had gotten a job at the local radio station, had taken advantage of it more than once. And now it was time again.

 

~~

_Four Years Ago_

Yuu is seventeen when his foster brother is killed in a traffic incident. A motorcycle is never a match for a tanker. Never. His foster father calls Lavi’s grandfather, insists that the redhead be brought over because he’s terrified for Yuu-kun, because bottling up one’s emotions is not healthy, because neither he nor Marie can get through to him.

Lavi and the old panda arrive and Lavi is ushered upstairs while the adults talk downstairs. He heads for Yuu’s room, pauses outside the door, then goes to Daisya’s. He cracks the door open enough to slip through and closes it again immediately. The room is dark but he find’s Yuu easily. He kneels in front of him.

The Japanese teen sits on the floor with his knees drawn to his chest and his forehead rested on his folded arms as he leans back against Daisya’s bed. He raises his head at Lavi’s touch, looks out at him from behind long hair. Lavi tucks it back, finds Yuu’s jaw, and lifts his head some more.

Yuu is tightlipped and rigid, eyes hard. 

“Don’t do this,” Lavi says, voice quiet but so loud in the silent room. “Don’t let it be Alma again.”

Yuu drags his lower lip in, rolls it between his teeth.

“Yuu…” Lavi leans in and pushes Yuu’s fringe off his face. “Talk to me.”

Yuu purses his lips, fighting hard. The rims of his eyes are going red.

Lavi sighs. “Do it, Yuu. Just do it. Break for me.” He smiles sympathetically. Yuu begins to crack, lower lip trembling, eyes watering. “Cry for him.”

With that, Yuu falls apart, limbs loosening, posture softening. He looks at Lavi and cries. Cries so hard he begins to sob, and Lavi can see he hates it. Yuu’s fingers curl into fists and his heels drag along the floor and Lavi shushes him, encourages him to keep crying.

“God, I know, I know,” he breathes, taking Yuu’s elbows and squeezing. His own throat is tight and he can hardly speak. His eyes burn and begin to water. “Just cry, Yuu. Keep crying.”

Yuu cries harder, breaths cutting off in his throat, face turning red and blotchy. He starts to hyperventilate, breaths wheezing in and out of him too fast to be of any use and still he cries. Lavi’s sitting cross-legged by now but he quickly pushes to his knees and tries to steady Yuu.

“H-hey,” he says around his own tears. “Shh, Yuu. Breathe. Breathe, Yuu. Just br - “ He spots Daisya’s headphones, hesitates for a minute, then drags them over from the other side of the bed. He fumbles to get his phone out of his pocket then to get the jack in. But he does, and he presses shuffle and cranks the volume and slips the headphones on to Yuu.

He has no clue what he’s doing. Not a fucking clue. But he hopes it works.

“Focus on the music, Yuu.” He keeps his fingers tight around the headphones and hovers over Yuu.

Yuu looks up at him, looking so young. He’s still fighting for air and his limbs are going limp. But he just cries. Just cries, and cries, and cries, and Lavi’s heart swells at the sight in the most painful and beautiful way.

“I’m going to turn it up,” he warns, choosing a song with an impressive bass and an awesome drop before turning the volume just short of full ball.

Yuu keens and squeezes his eyes shut, heels dragging over the carpet again. The sobbing is becoming horrible coughs and wheezes for air. Yuu’s hands come up over Lavi’s on the headphones and press them tighter against his ears, trying to drill the music into his head.

He opens his eyes and blinks up at Lavi, face twisted with emotional pain.

Lavi’s breath stalls and he presses his forehead to Yuu’s. He links their fingers.

“Louder,” Yuu gasps, panting across Lavi’s face. His cheeks are slick with tears. “Louder.”

Lavi cranks it up as loud as it will go. He can hear it blaring from the headphones and watches Yuu absorb it all, chest thrumming with the bass. “Just cry,” Lavi whispers, brushing his nose past Yuu’s. He slides his hands down to cup Yuu’s cheeks, feels their wetness. He presses their foreheads tighter together. “Cry, Yuu.”

And Yuu can’t seem to stop crying. His fingers are tight around Lavi’s wrists and his chest heaves with each sob and broken cry, but he doesn’t break eye contact, doesn’t pull away. 

And Lavi doesn’t either.

~~

Teachers are lenient on Yuu and the whole school is in mourning. Yuu goes through half of his classes in a daze and gets fired up way too quickly, even for him. Lavi has taken to keeping Daisya’s headphones in his backpack, and the teachers never question when Lavi follows Yuu from the room in the middle of a lesson. He’ll follow him until Yuu realises that he doesn’t know what part of the school he’s in and comes to a confused stop. And then he’ll slip the headphones over Yuu’s ears, plug the jack into his phone, crank the volume to full ball, and let Yuu block out the world for the time being. There are still the occasional tears, though Yuu fights against them tooth and nail, but most times Yuu just casts his gaze down and brushes his fingers over the headphones and settles.

~~

Three weeks after the funeral they’re one week out from exams. Teachers croon to Yuu, tell him not to stress about final assignments and exam marks, that he should just focus on himself and moving on. Students go out of their way to help him, offering study notes, homework help, group study sessions. Yuu mostly ignores them, gaze focused elsewhere, chin in hand.

But one lunch time Yuu is furious and he storms up beside Lavi and plops down on the grass beside him. Lavi grins and throws an arm around Yuu’s shoulders, draws him in.

“Yuu-chan!” He squeezes Yuu’s nape then releases him. “What’s up?”

There’s a bunch of angry muttering and swearing, gaze cast off to the side. The shadows dance in patterns over his pale skin, and Lavi clicks his tongue. He pulls out the headphones and slips them over Yuu’s ears and cranks the volume. Yuu shoots him a look but grudgingly settles back against the tree’s trunk, fingers over the headphones, and glares at the ground.

Lavi laughs and watches as slowly Yuu relaxes, the anger seeping out of him with each deep breath. Yuu sighs and closes his eyes, shoulders slumping. Lavi goes very still, very quiet. Yuu blinks his eyes open and looks at him. And Lavi can’t help it. He leans across, fingers sliding over Yuu’s jaw, noses brushing, gazes meeting, and kisses him.

Yuu doesn’t seem to mind.

~~

And he doesn’t seem to mind four weeks later when Lavi slips off the headphones and blasts the music through his speakers instead. Yuu is stretched out on Lavi’s bed and blinks slowly at him, and Lavi smirks at him, tugs his shirt off over his head, and crawls onto the bed with him. He hovers above him, weight on his palms, and leans down to brush their noses past one another. He nudges their mouths together, marvels at the way Yuu sighs out a breath and automatically opens his lips for Lavi. Always. He always done. It stirs something in Lavi every time.

Lavi kisses him, slow and deep. Yuu melts beneath him, eyes fluttering closed as he lets Lavi has his way. The redhead’s fingers tease at the skin above the waistline of his pants and Yuu sucks in a breath. His shirt comes off with Lavi’s help and the redhead mouths his way done, pressing open kisses to each rib. Lavi’s jeans come off next. Then Yuu’s. 

Yuu fumbles to reach the bedside table, fingers grasping for the speakers’ remote. He finds it at the same time Lavi sucks a mark into his hip and he arches sharply, almost dropping the remote. Lavi laughs against his skin and Yuu sighs out another breath, going lax as he turns up the volume.

Lavi’s pries the remote from him, turns the speakers up even more, grins, kisses him, then makes him fall apart. 

 

~~

_Current Day_

The glass is vibrating with the bass and Yuu is completely lost in the moment, as he always is when this happens. Lavi watches him closely, mind, as always, stuck on the memory of that night in Daisya’s room, of falling asleep on the floor together, music still blaring through the headphones, of Yuu hiccuping in his sleep.

The drop comes and the beat hits a crescendo. Yuu drags in a breath and rolls his shoulder. He tugs at his collar and Lavi straightens some more, keen and alert. Yuu’s eyes snap open and his lips move around Lavi’s name and Lavi doesn’t even remember _moving_ but the door is wide open and the noise is escaping and he’s in there with Yuu.

Yuu’s fingers grapple for his wrist and he squeezes. The bass is making Lavi’s chest hurt and he massages it absently. Yuu’s gaze goes unfocused like it often does when he’s in this room. Lavi steps closer to Yuu, aligns them so they’re knee to knee, hip to hip, chest to chest - and Yuu’s eyes snap to attention just as Lavi is sliding a hand around the back of Yuu’s head and pressing their lips together.

Yuu sighs into his mouth and parts his lips, letting Lavi’s tongue in. He sucks on the tip of it then lets Lavi explore as much as he likes. Lavi tugs his hair free and slides a hand into it. He pulls Yuu closer, drinks him in. They’re both vibrating and Lavi twists his wrist free of Yuu’s grip, only to snatch up Yuu’s wrist and keep the other man in nice and tight.

“No one’s here,” he pants as they part for air. Yuu’s lips are glistening with saliva, eyes half lidded. “No one’s here,” Lavi repeats, sliding Yuu’s shirt up until it bunches under his arms. He tugs it over Yuu’s head and throws it aside. He pulls Yuu in by the waist of his pants and starts on his belt buckle. He seeks out his lips, nibbles lightly. “No one,” he says between kisses, working on the zipper. “Is here.”

Yuu forces him out of his shirt and Lavi lifts him only to lay him across the floor. Yuu looks up at him, pupils blown wide, lips parted, expression dazed. Lavi kisses him, again and again, fingers mapping out Yuu’s chest. 

“What did it?”

Yuu hums then groans when Lavi nibbles at his ear.

“Yuu?”

“Wh-what?”

“What did it? Why - “

Yuu pushes to his elbows and kisses Lavi. “Just hurry up.”

Lavi huffs and scowls but does as he’s told. He shimmies out of his pants and tugs off Yuu’s. This is crazy, he tells himself as he kisses his way down Yuu’s body, this is so crazy. They’re about to have sex here. At his work place. In the recording room. With music blaring so loud they have to shout to hear each other. But Yuu needs to come apart and Lavi knows how to make it happen, has always known, and so he takes his task to heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
